The Diary of Luan Loud
by Flagg1991
Summary: Luan Loud is all jokes and happiness, but it's just a front: She's really a sociopath who delights in tormenting her family, and she's losing control. Cover by Raganoxer.
1. The Dark Secret

They say puns are the lowest form of humor, but they're wrong: Puns are hilarious! Case in point: This afternoon Luna was doing her stupid rock chick act, you know, dancing around the room with her guitar and hitting sour notes (what other notes can she hit?). At one point, she was on her bed and went to lean back, bending at the knees, when the guitar flew from her hands and crashed into the doorjamb. The neck came clean off, taking most of the strings with it. "Wow, sis," I said before I could stop myself, "tough break!"

I laughed so hard I cried. I mean, I was gasping for air, and not faking it like I usually do. "That's not funny," she said tightly, hopping down and scooping up the shattered remains of her prized possession. She stormed out and hasn't talked to me since. What's with her? It was her fault anyway. I didn't do it. She should have been wearing the strap, but no, she thinks she's too cool for the strap. Well, that's what you get.

Thinking about it, though, I really shouldn't have said that. I try my hardest to keep from being mean-spirited, but sometimes, it slips out. I can't help it. When you live with fifty thousand other people, you're bound to see the dumbest shit, but if you say anything, everyone gets mad at you and blah blah blah. Take a fucking joke, will you?

After Luna shredded her guitar (get it?), I did a little joke research online. Every day, I look up jokes to tell. I find the stupidest, most inoffensive, childish crap I can and copy it down in a notebook. I gotta keep up my act, right? I'm Luan Loud. I tell jokes and wear Groucho Marx glasses and carry a dummy around. _Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! LOL!_ I don't copy down the good stuff, though. That might get me in trouble. One I saw last night almost made me pee. It goes: _What's the worst part about being a black Jew? Sitting at the back of the oven!_ Imagine me cracking that at the dinner table. They'd all look at me like I was crazy. They'd be fake butthurt aplenty in the Loud house.

I wonder how they do it? Faking emotion is hard work. Pretending to love and care about each other. I struggle. I really do. I have to practice my smile in the mirror every day, or it starts to look as fake as it feels. I don't see anyone else doing that. Maybe deceit comes more naturally to them. Hell, maybe they're so delusional they don't even know up from down.

I guess I better apologize to Luna. Yuck.

May 16 – Rain, rain, go away. The funny thing is, this always happens on a Saturday or a Sunday. It never rains when we're at school, it rains when we're all home and we have to be stuck with one other. And for whatever reason, everyone congregates in the living room. All thirty siblings. Lincoln is reading comics in his underwear (in front of his sisters, too, what a fucking pervert...I bet he gets off on it), Lisa is doing "experiments" again and using the biggest, most pretentious words she can memorize, Luna is dancing around like a moron, only this time with the radio (I wanted to tell her not to break it, but I don't want to fight with her again), and Lori is texting Bobby. The others...I really don't know, and I don't care. I'm in my room now because I couldn't take it anymore. It was like being suffocated. I had to get away.

I'm so bored.

Oh, I just had a good idea. BRB.

LATER

Here's what I did: After making sure no one was in the hall, I sneaked into Lola and Lana's room, found Lola's stupid fairy princess wand, broke it over my knee, and threw it under Lana's bed. Then I went back downstairs and started telling jokes. After about an hour, Lola came down the stairs yelling about her wand. She couldn't find it, and it was special. Awww. She spent almost an hour looking for it, going from pissed to hysterical, shaking and screaming and kicking things. When she finally found it, she snapped (get it?) and blamed Lana. I was hoping for a fistfight, but instead Lola stormed off. Nice one.

Of course, the others took it upon themselves to try and get them to stop fighting. Lori was all like, "We need to fix this." No, you need to mind your own business, you stupid bitch. As always, I went along with it. Gotta be the good sister. Gotta front. Get this: When I was alone again, I went back into their room, broke Lana's lucky plunger, and threw it on the floor next to Lola's bed.

That caused a fistfight. I had my money on Lana, but Lola held her own. Ittle fairy princess packs a punch. By the time Lori and Luna separated them, they both had black eyes, cut lips, bloody noses. It was cool. So cool I started getting turned on.

"Enough of this!" Lori yelled.

"She broke my wand!"

"She broke my plunger!"

It was all I could do to keep from laughing. My wand! My plunger! Oh, Jesus.

Anyway, it's almost bedtime and the two geeks still aren't talking. Whatever harebrained scheme the others come up with to get them back together, I hope they leave me out of it.

May 17 – It ended like it always does: They kissed, made up, and everyone came in for a giant, writhing, Loud family group hug. It's enough to make you sick. Although, truth be told, I didn't mind when Lincoln accidentally touched my butt. He's an ugly little shit, but he's got a mouth, fingers, and a dick, doesn't he?

He'd probably puss out and tell mom and dad like Luna did when we were kids. We weren't doing anything wrong, just...exploring. It was my idea. She's too stupid to come up with something like that on her own. I had to hold her hand and guide her. I'd probably have to do the same to him. I'll think about it.

In the meantime, we packed into the van and went to church. Got to listen to a priest speaking in Latin. Yay for dead languages. Afterwards, we went out to breakfast, which was nice, until Lynn busted out her basketball and tried to show off. By show off, I mean she threw it into the air and didn't catch it. It came down in the middle of the table and knocked everything over. Lucy took a pancake to the face, I was covered in orange juice. I was pissed. "Oops, sorry," she said with a sheepish little grin, but I think she did it on purpose. Mom and dad were upset. "This is why we never go out," mom whined like an old Jewish grandmother. Shut up. You're the one who pumped out fifty kids. It's a vagina, not a clown car (FUCKING GET IT?).

At home, everyone scattered to do their own thing. Lynn conned Lincoln into playing football with her, and while they were preoccupied, I went into her room and stabbed her stupid basketball to death. You wanna play, bitch? Let's play.

After that, I practiced with my dummy a little. I'm getting good. Watch out, Jeff Dunham; there's a new loser in town.

LATER

Lynn found her ball DOA and made a little stink about it. She has others, so she wasn't _that_ upset. She shouldn't have ruined breakfast like she did! I'm the bad guy? Come on. This is the shit I deal with every day from these people.

Oh, Lisa blew up her room again. Mixed and matched something that shouldn't have been mixed and match. Really _blew_ my socks off. One of these days she's going to kill herself. I just hope I'm there to watch.

May 18 – Am I cracking up? I think I am. Everyone's getting on my nerves lately. I smile wider, crack more jokes, and try to be the perfect sister, but, man, these assholes are really pissing me off. Today it's Leni. God, she's such a retard. I know she has issues, okay. Everyone knows that. When she was little she had a really bad fever and it fucked her brain up. Terrible. Still, we all have issues. Work through them. I think she fakes most of it. She fakes most of it to get sympathy. That's her con. We all have one. I can't blame her for that, but it's so irritating. Fuck. Doesn't she have any dignity? Any shame? Pride? Anything? I couldn't live with myself if I walked around acting stupid. She can, though, because she doesn't care.

And Lucy with her stupid goth act. Oooo, darkness, ooo, melancholy. She's eight. What the hell does she know about darkness? The Count from Sesame Street? I'm sick of hearing her stupid poems and then acting like they don't suck. I think one day soon her notebook's going to pull a disappearing act.

I've been thinking about Lincoln. I could really use a good eating out. And before you start in on me, I know he's my brother. So? I don't give a shit. An O is an O. I still think he'd be a little bitch about it. Oh well. I guess we'll see.

May 20 – Last night, after everyone was asleep, I got out of bed and went to Lincoln's door. I was wearing a T-shirt and nothing else. Looking at myself in the mirror, I was pleased with the way my nipples stuck out. I'm hot.

I knocked on the door, and when he didn't answer, I opened it part of the way. "Linc?"

He snorted.

I looked over my shoulder, made sure no one was watching, and went in, shutting and locking the door behind me.

Tiptoing, I climbed onto the bed and straddled him. He came groggily awake. "Huh...?"

"Hey, Linc," I whispered, "wanna hear a wet joke?"

He blinked. "What?"

His hand was resting on his chest. I grabbed it and stuck it between my legs. When he realized what he was touching, he jumped a foot.

"Luan! What are you doing?"

I shrugged. "Just spending time with my little brother."

"You...you..." he stammered.

"Come on. You didn't like it?"

"No!"

I got angry then. I pinned both of his hands to the bed and leaned in. "Too bad."

I slipped my tongue into his mouth. He fought, shaking his head from side to side, but I wouldn't let go. When it finally broke, I was panting. My heart was racing. This was exciting on so many levels.

"You know how we help each other out? You're gonna help me out. Or I'm going to tell mom and dad that you broke the window last week."

His eyes went wide. Last Monday, he and Clyde were playing catch in the backyard. Linc didn't catch Clyde's fastball, and through the kitchen window it went. I think he did it on purpose. He panicked, and I helped him push a tree branch through the window so it looked like an act of God. Mom and dad bought it, because they're stupid.

"Please don't!" The look of terror in his eyes made me even wetter.

"Take off your pants."

I sat on the edge of the bed as he stripped naked. His penis was small and flaccid. When he was ready, I told him to lay back, and then put it in my mouth. It tasted salty and musky, which is how a dick is supposed to taste. At least Jimmy from the next block tasted that way in fifth grade.

When Linc was hard (he _does_ enjoy it, pervert), I mounted him again and slowly eased onto him, the head of his dick pushing through my tight opening. When he was in, I told him to grab my tits, and he did, but he just left his hands there.

"Play with them!"

He rubbed and pinched my nipples through my shirt. It hurt, but it felt so good. I started grinding my hips, rocking back and forth.

"Do you like that, bitch?" I asked.

"Y-Yes," he said.

I started thrusting harder. God, it felt so good. I was quickly losing myself on a tide of pleasure. When I came, I had to bite my bottom lip to keep from screaming. My body shook, my knees went weak. I rolled off of him and lie on the bed, shuddering. When I was done and had my breathing under control, I got up. "Don't tell mom and dad. Or I'll kill you."

Back in my own room, I snuggled under the blankets and went to sleep.

Today Lincoln has been really weird. He really hasn't come out of his room, and when he does, he can't even bring himself to look at me. He's probably going to punk out and tell. I kind of hope he does, because I was serious.

I'll kill him.


	2. Hitler, Lori, and the Confrontation

May 22 – Lincoln's been really distant and withdrawn. The others have noticed. Lori called us girls together in her room and said we need to find out what's wrong with him. She's such a snoop. I volunteered to talk to him. Before dinner, I slipped into his room and shut the door. He was sitting on his bed, looking dejected. When I came in, he jerked.

"Look, Lincoln, I'm sorry about the other night," I said. "I don't know what came over me."

"I-It's okay."

"No, it's not. You're acting strange and now everyone's oh so worried. What I did was wrong and if you hate me, hate me, just get it together, okay?"

He nodded.

"Do you forgive me?"

"Yes."

I went to hug him, and he cringed. Little shit. I just sighed and left. I'll hand it to him, he got it together enough to be almost his old self at dinner. Later on, Lori took me aside and thanked me. "What was it, anyway?"

I shrugged. "Girl trouble."

"What kind of girl trouble?"

"He doesn't want me to say."

"Hmmm."

She's probably going to corner him herself and give him the third degree. If he tells, I'm screwed. I shouldn't have done it. I knew better, but I did anyway.

May 23 – The hammer hasn't dropped yet, so I don't think Lincoln's said anything. Luna got a new guitar today. That fat guy she hangs out with got it for her. I think they're a couple. Gross, I know. She looks like a dyke and he looks like Fat Bastard. Every time I try to imagine them going at it my stomach hurts. But, hey, at least we have music in the Loud house again. Gotta love that.

Lucy's been looking for her notebook. I took it and ripped it into a million little pieces yesterday, then I buried them in the garbage can. She's pretty broken up about it. Ha. Everyone's helping her look for it. I found it, btw. It was in the back of the garbage truck heading for the dump. HAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, I almost forgot! I found a kitten on my walk home from school. I was cutting through a vacant lot when I heard it meowing in the grass. It's gray with a little white face and a little black patch below its nose. I call him Chaplin in front of everyone else, but Hitler in private. If I knew anything about the chemicals Lisa has, I'd play Holocaust with him. He'd be the Jew, of course. It'd be a gas (get it?).

May 24 – Lincoln's back to his old self, more or less, and everyone seems satisfied. He still avoids me, though. I don't get it. I know he liked it. He's probably ashamed because he did. "Oh, she's my sister boo-hoo-hoo." Pisses me off. I was thinking of hitting him with a laxative, but that might come back to bite me. Then again, I could put some in dad's nasty casserole and get everyone sick (myself included). That wouldn't be suspicious. If I have to shit my guts out to see the rest of them sick, so be it. Maybe tomorrow. Or the next day.

Hitler's really getting on my nerves. He does nothing meow. All night long. Luna's pissed, but you know what? Fuck her. I don't like hearing her "music" but do I complain? No. I sit there and take it. I'm thinking of punting the little bastard out the window anyway, so there's that problem solved. Happy, Luna? His blood is on _your_ hands.

May 25 – I was sitting on my bed this afternoon, playing with Hitler, when Lori came in and shut the door. I could tell by the look on her face that she meant business.

"I know it was you," she said, and my stomach lurched. Lincoln told. The little faggot.

"Me what?" I asked.

"Who broke Lola's wand, and Lana's plunger, and Lynn's ball."

I blinked. "What?"

"And you're probably the one who took Lucy's notebook."

"What are you talking about?"

"Lucy saw you coming out of her room the day Lynn's ball got popped. Then I realized that the day Lola's wand got broke, _you_ were upstairs."

"I was practicing my act," I said innocently. My voice was steady, but my heart was pounding. Shit. How did she know? Did she read my diary? That line about Lucy was bullshit. I'm sure no one saw me.

"No you weren't. You broke Lola's wand. Why?"

"I didn't break her stupid wand," I said. I was starting to get mad. "And I didn't break Lana's nasty plunger."

"You're lying."

"Fuck you!"

Lori blinked, shocked.

"Get out of my room!"

For a moment I didn't think she would. She grinded her teeth, breathed deeply through her nose, and shook her head. Finally, she said, "I'm watching you," and left.

The stupid, smelly bitch. She must have read my diary. Then again, if she did, she would have said something about Lincoln.

Unless she's saving that for mom and dad.

Damn it. I shouldn't have left a paper trail. Rookie mistake. Whatever. It's done now.

Who does she think she is, coming in her like Kojak and accusing me? She has no fucking idea who she's messing with. Watch your back, Lori, because one day, you're gonna be going down the stairs, your nose buried in your phone, and, golly gee, have an "accident."

I should do it tonight.


	3. Days of Rage

May 27 – Every time I see Lori, she gives me a dirty look, and I give her on right back. Anytime you're ready, sis. I'm so sick of this "Bobby Boo Boo Bear" bullshit. It makes me sick. I'd like to hear her baby talk with a mouthful of broken teeth.

Because they have no lives and snoop just like their sister, the others know there's something going on between us. Earlier Luna cornered me in the room. "What's up with you and Lori?"

"Nothing," I said.

"It's something alright."

Though I'm not proud of myself, I snapped. "It's none of your goddamn business! Stay out of my life!"

I stormed away and left her standing there, no doubt gaping after me like an idiot. Lucy was in the hallway, so I made sure to shoulder-check her. "Move."

In the bathroom, I looked at my face in the mirror. I tried to smile, but it looked so contrived. Resting bitch face looked (and felt) more natural.

I'm sure Lori didn't read my diary. What happened with Lincoln alone would have sent her crying to mom and dad. Maybe Lucy did see me. She's always creeping around like a fucking ghost or something, and maybe Lori did piece together that I was the one who broke Lola's wand, Lana's plunger, and Lynn's ball. She's stupid, but she's not Leni stupid. The question is: Where do we go from here? I made a mistake letting it out, you know? I was an idiot to think that I could get away with anything in this house. I could make up some lie about hormones or something, but I don't know if I want to. I kind of like not hiding who I am. In the end though, which serves me better?

Someone knocked on the bathroom door, and I cringed. Goddamn it. Can't a girl get some fucking peace? I ripped it open, and Lincoln was there. When he saw it was me, he shrank back.

I forced a laugh. "Sorry, Linc. It's all yours."

He muttered "Thanks" and scurried in. I was thinking about the other night and how good it felt. I wonder if I should try it again. Probably not.

Back in my room, I sat on my bed and tried to focus on joke finding, but couldn't. Luna came in, grabbed a few things, and left again. She didn't speak to me. Fucking bitch. When she was gone, I dug my fingers in my pussy, went over to her bed, and smeared them on her pillow. Nighty, night, sis.

Touching myself made me really horny, so I closed the door, slipped under the covers, and started playing with myself, rubbing my clit firmly but slowly. When I got tired of that, I stuck two fingers in and gasped. When I finally came, I muttered Lincoln's name.

May 28 – I was sitting on my bed with the door open when Lana passed by in the hall. She was holding a plunger dripping with what I could only assume was shit water.

"My new lucky plunger," she said, "hope no one _breaks_ this one."

I whipped my head up. The way she said it...I knew it was directed at me.

"What did you say?"

She had already passed by, but stopped and backed up. With a little grin on her face, she said, "I said I hope no one breaks my new lucky plunger."

Anger rose within me. I jumped off the bed. "How about I break you?"

That's when Luna stepped in between us and got in my face. "Back off," she said.

" _You_ back off, dyke."

She grabbed the front of my shirt. I shoved her back.

"I don't know what kind of hair crossed your ass, but you need to chill."

"Fuck off."

I slammed the door as hard as I could and locked it. These people are driving me crazy. I swear to God I'm going to strangle one of them. Before it's all said and done, I'm going to have to kill everyone here. Then it'll be a very quiet house (get it?).

LATER

Dinner was tense. No one talked to me and everyone looked mad. When I asked Lynn to pass me the peas, she shoved them at me, spilling some on the table. "Oops," she said sweetly.

I just glared at her and spooned some onto my plate. _I'll do to your head what I did to your ball._

After dinner, I went back to my room and masturbated again. This time I used the handle of Leni's hairbrush. When I was done, I put it back on her dresser.

May 29 – Lori slipped a letter under my door this afternoon. It said to meet her in her room after dinner. When I got there, all my siblings were waiting for me. Even Lincoln.

Lori, here arms crossed, told me to shut the door. When I did, she said, "What's with you, Luan?"

"Yeah," Luna added, "you've been acting really strange lately."

The others started talking over each other. It was maddening.

"There's nothing wrong," I said. "I just want to be left alone."

"Look," Lori said, her tone softening, "we want to help you."

I laughed. "I don't want your help. I want you all to leave me alone. I'm so sick of every single one of you. Lynn with the fucking sports, Lucy with the fucking goth shit, Leni being a retard, Lana eating mud and bugs. All of you. I hate every last one of you. Now fuck off and die!"

Back in my room, I realized my heart was racing and my breathing was shallow. There. It's all out now. I hate these people. They're all cheap, fake, and stupid. I can't wait to get out of here.

June 1 – Well, it happened. I was sitting on my bed, browsing Facebook, when Lori came in and shut the door. She crossed her arms and glared at me.

"What do _you_ want?"

"I read your little diary. You have issues."

My stomach dropped. "What?"

She nodded. "Yep. I read everything. Especially what you did to Lincoln. What's the matter with you?"

I got up. I was so mad I was shaking. "You had no right..."

"I wanted to know what was wrong with you. Drugs. Hormones. Turns out you're just psycho."

I could have killed her.

"And I'm telling mom and dad."

She opened up the door and looked over her shoulder.

"Eventually."

I'm going to kill her. I swear to God I am. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not for a long, long time, but I will. One day I will. I am patient. I can wait.

Now...what the fuck am I going to do? If she tells mom and dad, I'm screwed. They'll put me somewhere. They won't want me around their precious children. Gotta protect them from big bad Luan.

I'll get even with you, Lori. Soon.


	4. Bobby

June 2 – Every moment is an agony of anticipation. I jump at every sound. At any moment, I can be called downstairs for a "talk" with mom and dad. Fucking Lori.

But I got back at her. Yes I did. She just doesn't know it yet.

Earlier, Lori, Leni, Luna, and a couple of their airhead friends went to the mall. Lola and Luna were playing out back, Lynn and Lincoln were at the park, Lucy was writing another stupid poem, and Lisa was in her room experimenting, again. I was in the living room trying to lose myself in a book when a knock came at the door. Since everyone else was dicking off, I answered it.

"Hey," Bobby said, rubbing the back of his neck, "is Lori here?"

"No," I replied, "she's at the mall."

That's when it hit me. I knew how I'd get that bitch back. I was going to fuck her boyfriend.

"Oh," he said, dejectedly. "Tell her I came by."

He turned to leave but I stopped him. "Hey, wait. I need your opinion on something?"

"My opinion?" he asked.

"Yeah. I have a new act I wanna try out. Everyone else is too busy, though. Can you help? Please? It won't take more than five minutes. I swear."

"O-Okay."

I smiled. "Great."

I lead him upstairs to my room. I shut the door and locked it. That made him look uncomfortable.

"I need concentration," I said. "Now close your eyes."

"Okay," he said, and closed his eyes.

First, I got my phone from my nightstand and started recording. Then I propped it up on the dresser facing the bed. I smiled into it and winked. "Thanks for _cumming,_ Bobby."

"Yeah, sure. Are we almost done?"

"Not yet."

I went to him and got down on my knees. I went for his fly and he jumped back.

"What are you doing?"

"It's a magic trick," I said. "Come on. Don't tell me you don't wanna see it."

I pulled the zipper down. He looked uncomfortable, but he didn't try to stop me. When he fly was undone, I pulled down his pants, and then his underwear.

He was hard.

Looking dead at the camera, I said, "For my first trick, I will make Bobby's dick disappear."

I took him in my mouth, and he jerked. His dick was much bigger than any other I've sucked. He hit my gag reflex but I didn't stop. Slid my head back and forth, tasting every inch of him. When I pulled out and licked the tip, he shivered and sighed.

"How was that?"

"Nice," he panted, "but this isn't right. I..."

"Shhh."

I pushed him back onto the bed and straddled him. His eyes were big, dumb, and doelike. I don't know what Lori sees in him.

When I kissed him, he tried to pull away, but then kissed me back, caressing my cheek with his hand. I pulled back and looked at him, forcing a smile. "Do you wanna fuck me?"

"Yes," he panted. "So bad."

"Good."

I slipped off of him and laid back on the bed. "You be on top."

It was important for him to be the one actively screwing me. I wanted Lori to see her boyfriend thrusting into me. I didn't want him passive. I didn't want it to look like I was seducing him. I wanted him to be a full participant. That would hurt Lori even more.

As he got into position, I arched my back and slid my underwear down. Grinning like a loon, Bobby took them and flung them across the room.

"Yes," I panted, "fuck me."

When he entered me, I cried out. He was so fucking big. He bulged against my walls, filling me so completely that I thought I might tear.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded. "Just fuck me."

He thrust deep, and I grabbed handfuls of the sheet. His breathing was getting heavy, ragged. Close already, Bobby Boo Boo?

I arched my back again, and he moaned. Then he leaned in, kissed me on my neck, and said, "I'm gonna cum."

Wow. You'd think he'd be better at controlling himself after being with Lori for so long. Or is Lori a prude who won't put out?

"Cum inside me," I said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

One more thrust and he was done: His hot, creamy seed shot deep into my belly. It was so warm and gooey. Instantly, it started leaking out onto the bed.

Bobby rolled off of me and laid beside me for a minute without speaking. Then, with shame in his voice, he said, "I better get going."

"Way to cum and go," I replied. "Get it?"

He forced a chuckle and got dressed. I saw him out. "Don't be a stranger," I said, and slapped his ass. Then I shut the door on him.

I took the video and edited it on my laptop. Now I'm just waiting to email it to Lori. I'd love to see her face as she watches it; I bet you could see the instant her heart breaks. Hahahaha.


	5. Showdown

June 3 – Church. Again. I still can't believe adults actually believe in this crap. Sure, okay, some guy got nailed to a cross and came back three days later. Totally believable. The Bible is absolutely unlike any other creation myth under the sun. Got it.

When we got home, I went back upstairs and got on my laptop. I just sent the video to Lori. Now I'm just waiting for the fireworks.

LATER

"Luan!" Lori shrieked. It was almost one. An hour after I sent the email. _That long, huh?_

Luna was lying on her bed and strumming her guitar. She looked up, and then to me. "Uh-oh." The way she said it was _You better run now._

"Yeah," I said, "uh-oh."

I got out of bed and went to the door. When Lori came in, I punched her in the jaw as hard as I could. She gasped and Luna shouted.

Lori recovered quickly. She grabbed me by my hair and yanked me to her. I hit her in the stomach with an uppercut that knocked the breath out of her.

"Guys, stop it!" Luna yelled.

"You bitch!" Lori shrieked. She pulled me again, and I went limp: We tumbled to the floor, me on top and her on the bottom. She wasn't expecting the drop; I had just enough time to hit her again before she snapped out of it and swiped me across the face with her nails.

Suddenly, Luna's arms were around me. She wrenched me back. "Get off!"

The hallway was flooded with people by then. Everyone except mom, dad, and Lilly. Everyone was talking, asking questions. Lynn and Lucy went over to Lori who was sitting up now, her knees drawn to her chest. She was crying.

"She fucked Bobby!" she wailed. "She fucked Bobby."

"Bobby fucked _me!_ " I yelled, and laughed. I broke away from Luna. "He fucked me and he came in me. I'm probably pregnant. I'm pregnant by _your_ boyfriend."

"That's enough!" Luna yelled. She snatched me up by my hair and turned me around. "You're..."

"Hey, what's going on up there?"

It was dad. He was on the stairs.

"Fuck you," I said, and spit in Luna's face. She let go of me and I went out into the hall.

"Luan's a fucking psycho!" Lori sobbed. "That's what's wrong!"

"Yeah," Lynn added, glaring at me. "She raped Lincoln!"

"And Bobby!"

Dad looked stricken. I almost felt sorry for him.

Almost.


	6. Six Months Later

Nov 25 – I've been at the group home for six months now. It's nice. Most of the girls here leave you alone. And if they don't, you just have to beat them up and they get the message.

Bobby didn't get me pregnant, but Lori broke up with him and from what I heard, they haven't gotten back together.

Mom and dad put Lincoln in therapy.

I don't know much about the others. I don't care to ask, and no one cares to tell me. I get a letter from mom and dad here and there, but that's it.

I'm on medication now and I see a doctor once a week. It doesn't help. I just smile and tell him what he wants to hear. If I do well in recovery, I might get to go home again one day. I can start over, pick up the whole stupid act where I left off, but I don't know if I want to. Maybe. I don't know. I'm conflicted. Sometimes I think I miss my family, but then I get over it. We'll just wait and see.

"Take it on day at a time, Luan," the doctor tells me.

And that's what I'm going to do.

One day at a time.


End file.
